Five Tips for Helping Kids Mind Their Manners

Manners start at home but do not end there. Both the family dinner table and a night out in a restaurant give children places to practice. Give your children a quick run-down on the expectations you have for dinner. Consider the type of dining you’re doing at home with paper plates or china. Dinner at at sit down establishment will be different than a fast food meal. Either way, manners matter.

Actions are powerful, so both good and poor behaviors stand out, and good manners win. Really, would you rather hang out with a friend who is polite or rude? Society may focus on the crass and unruly, but respect and polite behavior will always be in style.

Teaching manners goes far beyond please and thank you. And it is not one of those lessons a parent can just check off the “To Do List” like shoe tying instructions. If might take a long time to master the skill but once the shoes can be tied, the kid is on his way. Polite behavior lessons go on, and on, and on. Even with teenagers, it’s a continual time of coaching.

Five Tips for Helping Kids Mind Their Manners

1. Give directions in the positive. For example, “Please take your elbows off the table” rather than “Don’t put your elbows on the table.”
2. Praise success. A little positive reinforcement can go a long way in strengthening a child’s desire to do well.
3. Verbalize your expectations. “We are having dinner at Grandma’s house tonight. I expect you to sit and the table, eat with a fork, and use a quiet voice.” Children generally desire to live up to Mom and Dad’s expectations.
4. With younger children, focus on one manner at a time. Concentrate on table behaviors then move to phone manners. Be tolerant of lapses, but don’t overlook them. Use slip ups as teachable moments.
5. Make it fun! When my boys were little, I would pretend to be the rude friend that came for lunch and broke every rule in the book; elbows on the table, speaking with my mouth full, napkin left on the table, reaching across others for food. The boys would laugh themselves silly. Then we’d talk about what a polite guest looks like as compared to the rude friend.

Make polite manners part of what your family does everyday. [ctt template=”2″ link=”3pC4e” via=”yes” ]Five Tips for Helping Kids Mind Their Manners[/ctt]

Copyright ©2015 Becky Danielson. All rights reserved.

For more on this topic, read Do Manners Matter? on Faith First Parent and Dinnertime…Worth Every Minute on 1 Corinthians 13 Parenting.