Growing Capable Adults

A special thank you to guest blogger, grandfather, and author Jim Doudiet for sharing his thoughts and experiences to encourage and inspire grandparents to connect with their grandchildren.

In my book, The Best Ideas I’ve Ever Heard (What I Want My Grandchildren to Know), I have an essay which is titled “A Parent’s Objective: growing capable adults”. I realize in emphasizing the partnership between parents and grandparents, that many of the things I site in that essay could also apply to grandparents particularly modeling and talking about life skills to be developed by a future capable adult (the grandchild).

Here’s my reasoning, directly from my book.

Parents need to step back from the day-to-day issues of raising children and from that further vantage point ask themselves, “What is our objective here?” When the day is done and the children are finally adults, what is it that would make you proud of your achievements as a parent? I submit that the most useful goal of parenting is to help your children and grandchildren become capable adults.

The idea of a capable adult begs for a definition, and we each could supply a slightly different one, I am sure. For starters mine would include mastery of the four basic elements already offered in this book: spiritual, physical, financial, and relational fitness. I see spiritual fitness as being the pinnacle and the other three as being the solid base. I would also emphasize comfort with the basics of an educated, inquiring mind: strong skills in reading, mathematics, and practical problem solving. A capable person is aware of his or her natural gifts and how to use them to acquire knowledge about any subject that seems important to mastering an element of living. Such a person would be equally comfortable speaking in front of a group or listening to a speaker. Eventual employment in a career (not just a job) to use his or her unique set of gifts would be a clear objective (not just of the parent but of the child as well). He or she would find something they love to do and make it their life’s work.

Rather than seeing the goal of parenting as getting through another day or winning a battle, there is great value in having the vision of raising a capable adult. ¹

I am a husband, a father, a grandfather, a church member, and a friend. My wife Jan and I have two daughters and four grandchildren. I started writing The Best Ideas I’ve Ever Heard (What I Want My Grandchildren to Know) the year my first three grandchildren were born, a month apart. I was looking for a legacy I could leave that would be useful to them. What resulted is a book of ideas and observations about life that should be useful to anyone. I present these ideas through a hundred short essays. More than anything, I argue that life is limited in time and space, so we should approach life’s journey thoughtfully and live our lives intentionally. I recommend having goals, seeking moral guidelines, and being kind to everyone we meet on this journey we call life.