Letting Go… Teenagers
Letting go has to be one of the most difficult things a mom has to do. It’s so much easier to hold on, to keep the child close. I liken it to ripping a Band-Aid off S-L-O-W-L-Y. This was not always the case.
My first teaching position was in kindergarten. I was unmarried and childless at the time and I have to admit, had very little compassion for the parents of my students when the school year started. So many parents would follow the bus to school and line up on the sidewalk with cameras and video recorders in hand to follow the kindergartners to the classroom. When the door would close, some would stand with their faces pressed against the glass to get one more glimpse of their precious child. I remember thinking, “Really? It’s three hours of kindergarten. Don’t these parents have a job or hobby?”
Fast forward to the first days of school for my own. I was a MESS! The school bus driver, a sweet older man, just looked at me and smiled. He was responsible, the teacher was capable, and child was ready for school. I was the problem. I wasn’t ready to let go. (My callous thoughts from my earlier years have made me feel very guilty!)
Letting go is a process. It’s a gradual release that begins at birth. Each time a new skill is learned, word spoken, step taken, the child is moving toward independence. That’s the goal, to raise a child who is able to take on the world, dependent on God alone.
But is it easy? Maybe it’s easier for some that others. As parents, we question if we’ve done enough or done too much. Questions like, “Does my child have what it takes to succeed?” nag at us.
Recently, in my Bible study we examined the story of the prodigal son. I’ve read this story so many times but God had a new lesson for me to learn. When the younger son who had taken his inheritance and spent it foolishly was at the end of his rope, God showed me the young man had some integrity left.
“He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. When he came to his senses, he said, “How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.” So he got up and went to his father (Luke 15:16-20a).
There he was, feeding the pigs, yet he did not take the pig’s food even though the stated how much he desired to fill his stomach with the pods the pigs were eating. He was beginning to come to his senses, remembering the lessons his father had taught him.
When I mentioned this revelation at Bible study, a friend reminded me to keep this thought in mind when my kids head off to college. Mistakes will be made but hopefully the boys will remember the lessons their father and I have taught them over the years.
I pray that both my sons will be men of integrity, filled with the Spirit. I also pray I can let go with grace, trusting the Lord to walk with them, guiding, convicting and loving, no matter what choices each one makes. I cannot go with my boys. It’s time to fly without me. I’m so grateful the Holy Spirit is the Navigator.
Start children off on the way they should go,
and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
Proverbs 22:6
© 2013 Becky Danielson. All rights reserved.
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