Six Signs of Bullying Behavior

Bullies are everywhere, especially these days. Kindness is at an all time low. Bullying behavior is not just mean, it’s contempt and cruelty. It is more than teasing, it’s repetitive and unwanted. The goal of the bully is to dehumanize and ostracize the targeted individual. Surprisingly, bullying can begin as early as age five, the age when most youngsters begin kindergarten.

Bullies typically usually desire to exert control or build up self by putting others down. When acting without impunity, the aggression intensifies.

Bullying must not be ignored.

There are typically four types of bullying: social, sexual, physical, and cyber. Verbal, the most common characteristic of social bullying, includes name-calling, teasing, spreading rumors, and gossiping. Actions such as intentionally leaving people out and breaking up friendships are considered social bullying. Girls are especially masterful in this realm.

Boys have the corner of the market on physical bullying but girls surprisingly act this way as well. Physical bullying usually begins in elementary school, peaks in middle school, and usually declines in high school.

The fourth category, cyber bullying, is the most insidious. Younger and younger kids are being exposed to this form of ridicule. Cyber-attacks are especially cruel because the perpetrator is often anonymous and the effects are far reaching. Cell phones, tablets, and other digital technologies become powerful weapons in a cyber-meanie’s hands. This form of bullying can be a catalyst for the other three kinds of bullying. Parents, watch for these six signs your child might be the target of a bully.

Six Signs Your Child May be a Victim of Bullying

• Child is alone a lot.
• Child refuses to attend school, school events.
• Child complains of excessive aches and pains: head, stomach, etc.
• Child withdraws from friends, family, and even siblings.
• Child exhibits uncharacteristic outbursts.
• Child’s grades drop and interests change.

Listen, be aware, and empathize. Let your child know you are on his team and will never desert him. When talking about the circumstances, keep your own emotions in check even though the Mama Bear instinct is to go into fun protection mode. Reinforce that being bullied is not your child’s fault. Tell your child you’re glad he spoke up and trusted you with this sensitive information. Share a time you were picked on to remove the loneliness factor and to normalize child’s situation and feelings.

 Strategies for Parents to Use in Bullying Situations

• Practice exit lines to take the bully’s control away, “I’m not interested in being teased today.” Then walk away.
• Refrain from further abuse that could be motivated by the victim’s tears or emotional outburst.
• Plan an escape route.
• Respond with humor. This disarms the bully.
• Consider the source. Bullies have usually been bullied themselves.
• Encourage or assist child to be his own advocate to go to an authority figure.
• Pray for the bully. This is tough, but effective!
• Remove, limit, or physically move technology to a common area.
• Avoid having your son or daughter alone in his or her bedroom, obsessing over social media posts.
• Pay attention to your child’s emotional, mental, and physical state. Keep in mind counseling may be necessary.
• Encourage a new hobby or extra-curricular activity. Support your child in seeking and fostering fresh relationships.
• Make home a safe-haven.
• Share with your child that even Bible heroes were bullied. Joseph by his brothers and David by Saul and both victims rose up to be strong leaders.
• Pray with and for your child.

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.
1 Corinthians 16:13

© 2022 Becky Danielson. All rights reserved.

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