Tales of Tattling
“Mom, Johnny is ….”
“Dad, tell Whitney to stop…”
“She touched me!”
“He looked at me!”
Tattling… it’s enough to drive a parent crazy.
But telling can be good.
What’s the difference?
To get a handle on tattling and to train children to tell, they need to know the difference. “Telling is a report that gets someone out of a harmful or hurtful situation. Tattling s a means to hurt the person being reported.”1 Tattling is meant to get a person into trouble. Telling is to assist in getting someone out of trouble.
Here are two examples.
1. Billy and Sydney are playing Legos when all of a sudden Billy comes dashing to his dad, “Sydney is being mean. Tell her to stop using the yellow Legos. I want the yellow Legos. ” Billy’s comments are meant to get the other child in trouble. This is tattling.
2. Big sister Ava is reading a book and notices her younger brother playing with matches on the hearth. She comes running to her mom, “Mommy, Sammy found a matchbox by the fireplace and is playing with the matches.” This little girl is telling to keep her brother safe.
The best response is to ask a question, “Will what you’re going to tell me get someone in trouble or out of trouble?” Children will be able to discern the difference quickly. Praise the child who notices and comes alongside someone in need.
Some kids are police officers at heart, making sure their siblings and friends are sticking to the rules. Others will tattle if it improves their own situation. Children will learn the difference of tattling and telling if Mom and Dad take the time to explain the difference and then when a situation arises. Ask the question, “Will what you’re going to tell me get someone in trouble or out of trouble?”
How do you squelch tattling at your house?
…those who would harm me talk of my ruin; all day long they scheme and lie.
Proverbs 38:12b NLT
[ctt template=”4″ link=”abOdS” via=”no” ]Tattling… its enough to drive a parent crazy.[/ctt]
1. Lori Wildenberg & Becky Danielson, Raising Little Kids with Big Love, Friendswood: Bold Vision Books, 2014, p. 152.
Copyright ©2015 Becky Danielson. All rights reserved.