When the Bully is Yours
Yesterday, as part of National Bully Prevention Month Lori Wildneberg, my ministry partner, gave moms and dads advice on 1 Corinthians 13 Parenting on how to bully-proof kids. Being proactive is a great way to build confidence in kids.
As parents and teachers, we spend a lot of time talking about what to do when a child encounters a bully. But there is other side to the bullying issue. One evening after a parenting class on this topic, a mom quietly asked me, “What do I do if the bully is my kid?” She was embarrassed and defeated. We talked about various strategies she could use with her daughter.
Here are some recommended training tips.
• Look for reasons why your child might be acting out. Has there been a change in family dynamics: death, divorce, illness, unemployment?
• Start the conversation then listen to your child. “I’ve noticed you’ve been (quiet, angry, upset) lately.”
• Build empathy in your child by having him help with younger siblings, volunteer at church, or care for the family pet.
• Hug your child. Physically demonstrating affection can help to break down barriers. Model gentle touches with younger children.
• Examine the discipline strategies you’re currently using. Are they too punitive or inconsistent?
• Give your child some control. Allow choices to empowered your child so he doesn’t need to exert control over others.
• Have high expectations for how your child treats others…always with love, respect, and kindness.
• Most importantly, pray with and for your child. Ask God to fill your child with the fruit of the Spirit and a desire to be respectful and kind to others. Pray for the bullied child to forgive and the relationship to be restored.
Sometimes kids need more help than we as parents can provide. If that’s the case, get assistance. Seek out a Christian counselor to help your child work through these difficult issues.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness,
goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
Galatians 5:22-23
© 2013 Becky Danielson. All rights reserved.
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Photo by Timothy Eberly on Unsplash