10 Tips for Difficult Family Gatherings
Family gatherings can be a time of joy, a time of angst or everything in between. God created our families. It’s our responsibility to try our best to be a loving peace keeper, even with the really difficult relatives. And there’s usually at least one in every family. The uncle who consistently asks inappropriate questions, the aunt without kids who’s an expert in childrearing, or the cousin with extreme political views who insists on a debate during holiday meals.
Fortunately, we can choose our friends. Relatives we need to learn to live with; the good, the bad, the irritating, the encouraging, the hurtful, and the helpful. Here are a few strategies to relieve the angst of stressful family encounters during the holidays.
10 Tips for Difficult Family Gatherings
- Prepare your heart for the occasion. Remember the good times as a family. Concentrate on the blessings, not the bummers. Pray for the right words to be spoken and affection for the person. Ask the Lord to take away the anxiety, soften your heart, reveal your brokenness in the relationship, and a willingness to forgive past grievances.
- Pray for the difficult family member. Opinions can change and hearts can soften.
- Have a verse or two in mind to focus on if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Love is patient, love is kind (1 Corinthians 13:4a) or This is my command: Love each other. (John 15:17). Remember God made everyone in His image, even that irritating family member.
- If you’re hosting, take the time to greet everyone at the door. Assign tasks to each guest. Working with others may help relieve the tension. If you’re a guest, ask for a job to help out the hostess. Busy hands are helpful.
- Stay on neutral ground. If the conversation slides toward an uncomfortable topic or a conflict, change the subject with a question.
- Choose humor as a response rather than sarcasm, anger, or silence.
- Seat the children with the adults for multigenerational conversations.
- Pray at the table as a group to bless the food, family, and fellowship at the holiday meal.
- Keep in mind your children are watching how you relate to family members. They learn to be compassionate and kind when they see Mom and Dad treating others with respect. Kindness is the best strategy.
- Download Ten Tips for Smooth Family Relationships from Faithful Grandparenting: Practical Ideas for Connecting the Generations.
With Thanksgiving and Christmas around the corner, don’t spend time dreading family events. Give that difficult relationship to the Lord. He’s a Heart Healer, Relationship Reconciler, and Attitude Adjuster.
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
Romans 12:18 ESV
© 2022 Becky Danielson. All rights reserved.
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