Why Whining Works

The simple answer to “Why do kids whine?” is whining works. When the volume and intensity increase the easiest way to make it stop is to give in. When parents and grandparents give in, the message is, “WHINING WORKS”.

Five Tips to Stop Whining

1. Have a plan in place.
Know what you will do before the whining even starts.

2.  Set the expectations.
Tell your kids what they can expect during the outing and you expect from them before leaving the house.
Have a written list for shopping trips. Make sure the children know what’s on the list goes in the cart, nothing else. It’s helpful to have kids assist with the list making. Refer to the list when the children want an item, before they begin to whine for it.
Provide a short list of positive expected behaviors: inside voices, sitting in the cart in the grocery store, leaving a play date, etc.

3.  Give kids a job.
When children have a job to do, they feel important. When leaving a playdate, set the expectation that coats are on and thank you are said, individually. Have one child hold the grocery list, the other can cross off items when selected.

4.  Ignore the whining. Praise appropriate behavior.
This can be HARD, but it’s worth it! Choose a phrase and stick to it when the whining starts. “I only hear polite words.” “I want to hear your beautiful voice.” Speak quietly to your child.

5.  Persevere
If your children are champion whiners, things may get worse before getting better. Stick with your plan. The results will be worth your perseverance.

It (LOVE) always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:7

© 2022 Becky Danielson. All rights reserved.

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